"Time-lapse photography is a cinematography technique whereby each film frame is captured at a rate much slower than it will be played back. When replayed at normal speed, time appears to be moving faster and thus lapsing"
0 :
Its a she. Pretty baby born to rather ordinary looking parents, the paediatrician on duty took a picture of her on his mobile phone. The nurse on duty couldn't believe how delicate she looked and called her friends over from a different ward to come take a look.
10 :
She's the smartest and prettiest in her fifth standard classroom. All of her classmates' parents hate her for existing in the same world as their children, for exposing their inadequacies.
20:
She's in college now. Fresh out of her teens, confident in her posture and gait. Her very presence exudes confidence, and she has the adoration of boys, girls, lecturers, professors and lab assistants. One wonders which came first. She wants to achieve great heights in life and the world is her oyster.
30:
Its been a while since she got married. She chose a partner who would forever be obliged to her. He was in no way equal to her in any aspect. She married because her parents wanted her to. She's confident she doesn't need a man in her life, just a spineless worm she could bend to her will would do as a namesake. She'd been wrapping even the best looking men around her finger since she was a teenager. With this one, built like a kothavaranga, a face like a tomato cut with a blunt knife, and immensely grateful to her for marrying him, She foresaw no problem at all.
40:
She looks 30. She's a mother now, of a boy and then a girl. She's lost none of her ambitions, and is filled with a sense of purpose. Not of attending to her children or her husband. She believes she was born to do great things for the world, and takes great pride in her job. She dreams of climbing to the top of the corporate ladder, of attending meetings with world leaders, of having the power, the power to make the world rotate in the opposite direction, if she so wished.
50:
She looks 50. She still works for the same position, in the same company. Her face looks crisp, but her body is showing signs of her age. It pains her to retain her upright posture, and she begins to stoop, like the banana leaves at the entrance of the kalyana mandapam after the ceremony ends. She wonders if she has a significant role to play in the world, and often introspects on the decisions she made.
60:
She's been replaced at her job by a girl younger than her daughter, because she's qualified better and is willing to work for lesser money. Her daughter is not as stunningly pretty as her, but she's not too bad looking, and marries a smart and intelligent boy who is raking in the money. The vegetable husband and the smart groom get along brilliantly well, and the marriage is exorbitant and splendid. Subsequently, her son grows up and marries a rather plain looking, but intelligent girl who is suspiciously sweet to her.
70:
She thinks a lot about family, nowadays. About her grandchildren, and even about her husband. Annoyingly, he always finds something to occupy himself. Books, music or the club he goes to. She thinks back about her youth, her ambitions, and her life. She wonders if, at any point of time in her life, how would things have changed, if she hadn't been there. She's too afraid to conclude anything, and repeatedly pushes the insistent thought away from her. She talks a lot to herself, although she's not conscious of it. Just as well, her husband had long since become used to her ignoring him, and so had the children. They had constructed their lives around her, not harming the bubble she lived in. She talks to her children occasionally, when they call to speak to their father.
80:
Her husband passed away a few years since. She had come into quite an amount of money, money that her husband earned, saved away and had passed it on to her. She lives with her son for one half of the year, and her daughter for the other half. She spends most of the day reading books, or just staring into space and talking to herself. Her children and grandchildren had gotten used to her behaviour. They pretended she didn't exist(much like she had pretended her children and father didn't exist, She thought to herself). Conversation was rather perfunctory, except when her grandchildren asked about their grandfather whom they adored. She didn't know much about him herself, so she often improvised. She contradicted herself sometimes, but her grandchildren either didn't notice, or pretended not to. She sees pictures of children in different countries without clothes, food, and donates all of her husband's money, partially hoping that she was changing someone's life, but mostly hoping that her children would argue about it and some conversation would ensue. They don't.
87:
The universe relieves her of her doubt, her guilt and her loneliness.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
"Moonai Thottadhu Yaaru?" Filming Begins in Jolarpettai
The sequel to the sequel of the sequel and the sequel of "New Moonu" and "Sandira(sic) Grahanam)", the famed amaerigan Vampire movies began today in Jolarpettai, among great pomp and a star studded ceremony, attended by many celebrities nobody had heard of. The movie, starring Giruthik Rosan as the hero and Sarugan as the villain, also reportedly has a guest appearance by the incomparable Sam Anderson, and Rajinikanth as the punch-dialogue consultant.
The film, which is directed jointly by Vijaya T Rajendar and Kamal Hassan has an unprecedented budget of 15 Rupees. When the producer of the film, a genuine amaerigan(no makeup), was asked for his reaction to making a splendid film on such a minuscule budget, the correspondent was at first put on hold by one Ms Swapnasundari who spoke in a mexican accent and called herself Ms Sun-derry, speaking out of an undisclosed location at (New no)21/(Old No)3, Vandikkaran street, Guindy, Chennai. On learning that the correspondent's name was Kandasamy, he was made to listen to "Excuse me Mr Kandasamy" for a total period of 127 hours and 13 minutes, during which time he contributed to the population significantly. Following which, Mr Amerigan(no makeup) answered that he chose to outsource to India because it was famous for accomplishing everything on a shoestring budget. He also claimed one of the reasons for choosing India was that the original actors had died from anemia due to the excessive bloodshed, whereas the Indian actors are apparently invincible, being able to act in schoolboy roles at the age of 63.The conversation was abruptly terminated when he was rendered speechless and stumped by his 5 year old, who asked him the answer to 2 + 3, a problem in his homework.
Varied reactions to the film have been received from across the country. Ragul Gandhi, the famous and dynamic young politician could say no more than "Yo Yo Yo, wasssssssuuuuup, biatch?", before he had to leave because his mum called him in for tea and samosas. Lalu Prasad addressed a press meet in Gopalganj, wherein he stated this was a great opportunity for selling neer moru in matkas on all routes to Jolarpettai. Unfortunately, he hurriedly retracted his statement when Mamata Banerjee claimed to be the true Minister for Railways. Mamata, on the other hand, was seen inquiring about the possibility of her appearing in an item number in the movie.
Of the dynamic duo of directors, only TR could be contacted, reportedly because he had agreed with Kamal Hassan that the latter would grow a beard and TR would be clean shaven for all public appearances in the movie. Kamal Hassan was seen frustratedly shopping for Hair growth creams trying to contact the manufacturers of "Instant Dhaadi-gro".TR, however showed off his co-operative relationship with Kamal Hassan with one of his trademark poems
"Kamal Hassan panniten Townu,
Na Appu, He maybe frownu,
Yevarybody say he bikku, I smallu, But
Na ille ippo roaming (in) shopping maallu"
An attempt to request Super star Giruthik Rosan for comment was rendered futile when Mottai-Mama Daddy Rosan answered and exhibited an inability to call his son to the phone. All that was heard was "Grrrrr, Girru.. gIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRu" before he hung up. When this curious sound was played back to a medical specialist, he was unable to diagnose it. His driver, however, was moved to tears when he cleverly recognized it at the noise MTC buses make when attempting to change gears. He claimed to have been an MTC driver before he retired, and begged us to send the noise to his phone via bluetooth, which we tried to oblige, but bluetooth, as usual, failed to cooperate.
Ms. J Jayalalitha, the leader of the opposition, called a press meet to announce that this was a conspiracy by the opposition parties to sully her name. However, she smoothly disappeared into a trapdoor on the floor when she was told that issue at hand was a movie, prompting questions with regard to the talent of the carpenter who had constructed such a device. Mr M Karunanidhi, on the other hand addressed a big crowd just outside Stella Maris, when he was denied entry by the watchman who insisted on being the only man on campus.
The film aims to cater to teenage and older-but-still-think-they-are-teenage girls and a few confused teenage boys. The general response to the film was exceedingly positive, with the collective sentiment that an All-in-all movie was the best for the present times."I've never been noticed by girls before. Now they all want me. I'm glad I love the series! Gaylight Ho!", gushed Ganesh Sadasivam gleefully, held aloft by a rowdy crowd of youth-gerls, none of whom, noticed his slip. S.R.T.P Indumathi("Call me Indy"), echoed the sentiment, saying "This movie has older-than-my-parents Indian actors with 7.5 packs, Item numbers, and a western storyline! What more could you.. ", stopping mid sentence to cheer an unidentified male biting her rear.
Muthalik Mama called a press meet to announce something, but nobody bothered to turn up.
The film, which is directed jointly by Vijaya T Rajendar and Kamal Hassan has an unprecedented budget of 15 Rupees. When the producer of the film, a genuine amaerigan(no makeup), was asked for his reaction to making a splendid film on such a minuscule budget, the correspondent was at first put on hold by one Ms Swapnasundari who spoke in a mexican accent and called herself Ms Sun-derry, speaking out of an undisclosed location at (New no)21/(Old No)3, Vandikkaran street, Guindy, Chennai. On learning that the correspondent's name was Kandasamy, he was made to listen to "Excuse me Mr Kandasamy" for a total period of 127 hours and 13 minutes, during which time he contributed to the population significantly. Following which, Mr Amerigan(no makeup) answered that he chose to outsource to India because it was famous for accomplishing everything on a shoestring budget. He also claimed one of the reasons for choosing India was that the original actors had died from anemia due to the excessive bloodshed, whereas the Indian actors are apparently invincible, being able to act in schoolboy roles at the age of 63.The conversation was abruptly terminated when he was rendered speechless and stumped by his 5 year old, who asked him the answer to 2 + 3, a problem in his homework.
Varied reactions to the film have been received from across the country. Ragul Gandhi, the famous and dynamic young politician could say no more than "Yo Yo Yo, wasssssssuuuuup, biatch?", before he had to leave because his mum called him in for tea and samosas. Lalu Prasad addressed a press meet in Gopalganj, wherein he stated this was a great opportunity for selling neer moru in matkas on all routes to Jolarpettai. Unfortunately, he hurriedly retracted his statement when Mamata Banerjee claimed to be the true Minister for Railways. Mamata, on the other hand, was seen inquiring about the possibility of her appearing in an item number in the movie.
Of the dynamic duo of directors, only TR could be contacted, reportedly because he had agreed with Kamal Hassan that the latter would grow a beard and TR would be clean shaven for all public appearances in the movie. Kamal Hassan was seen frustratedly shopping for Hair growth creams trying to contact the manufacturers of "Instant Dhaadi-gro".TR, however showed off his co-operative relationship with Kamal Hassan with one of his trademark poems
"Kamal Hassan panniten Townu,
Na Appu, He maybe frownu,
Yevarybody say he bikku, I smallu, But
Na ille ippo roaming (in) shopping maallu"
An attempt to request Super star Giruthik Rosan for comment was rendered futile when Mottai-Mama Daddy Rosan answered and exhibited an inability to call his son to the phone. All that was heard was "Grrrrr, Girru.. gIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRu" before he hung up. When this curious sound was played back to a medical specialist, he was unable to diagnose it. His driver, however, was moved to tears when he cleverly recognized it at the noise MTC buses make when attempting to change gears. He claimed to have been an MTC driver before he retired, and begged us to send the noise to his phone via bluetooth, which we tried to oblige, but bluetooth, as usual, failed to cooperate.
Ms. J Jayalalitha, the leader of the opposition, called a press meet to announce that this was a conspiracy by the opposition parties to sully her name. However, she smoothly disappeared into a trapdoor on the floor when she was told that issue at hand was a movie, prompting questions with regard to the talent of the carpenter who had constructed such a device. Mr M Karunanidhi, on the other hand addressed a big crowd just outside Stella Maris, when he was denied entry by the watchman who insisted on being the only man on campus.
The film aims to cater to teenage and older-but-still-think-they-are-teenage girls and a few confused teenage boys. The general response to the film was exceedingly positive, with the collective sentiment that an All-in-all movie was the best for the present times."I've never been noticed by girls before. Now they all want me. I'm glad I love the series! Gaylight Ho!", gushed Ganesh Sadasivam gleefully, held aloft by a rowdy crowd of youth-gerls, none of whom, noticed his slip. S.R.T.P Indumathi("Call me Indy"), echoed the sentiment, saying "This movie has older-than-my-parents Indian actors with 7.5 packs, Item numbers, and a western storyline! What more could you.. ", stopping mid sentence to cheer an unidentified male biting her rear.
Muthalik Mama called a press meet to announce something, but nobody bothered to turn up.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Has it truly come to this, Ladies and Gentlemen?
I wonder about a lot of things. Like the pointless existence of the trousers belonging to people who wear them at their knees in the name of fashion. At the ridiculousness of Thuli Alavum Moolai Illai and Ragi Sauvant's Somwar and MTV Roads and all the other rubbish that's telecast today in the name of forward-thinking television. At how, for a supposedly world class team, the Indian side's performance is hinged upon a few people performing. Well, in short (Take my word for it: This is the short version) there are a lot of things I wonder about. Like how it works out that what we get comfortable with, what we take for granted, is snatched away cruelly from us.
Talking with old people, what often strikes me amazing is.. how little they remember about their childhood.. and how they don't seem to care at all about it. I'm unable to remember a lot of things about my childhood, or about my past, but I'm unaware of their existence. On the other hand, the stuff I do remember, I'm able to remember eminently. And no doubt, I would be devastated if I forgot any of that. And yet the perusunge are at perfect peace with forgetting their own birthdays, even.
And fancy that! As a kid.. Everything gets better as we grow older. Being able to go out alone, being able to drive, being taken seriously.. To a child, an adult's world is full of possibilities. And once you are an adult, it hits you that its not all milk and honey. There are responsibilities, but that's not too much of a deal breaker. You retain your abilities and everything and deal with the responsiblities and live life fluently. With time, however, you slowly start losing everything. You can't see as well as you used to, can't hear well as you did. Your own flesh and blood don't like having you around very much and you're no longer in control. You no longer have a say in everything. In fact, you have a say in nothing. Its like being a kid again, except without the perks of being able to play all day. You can no longer earn a kuruvi rotti or a kuchi mittai for carrying Kannadi thatha's bags upstairs. On the contrary, you become kannadi thatha and it costs you to get some kid to carry your bags upstairs.
The pain of not having something is lesser than having something and then it being taken away from you. I wonder if i'll be able to deal with progressively losing abilities and control and other things I've taken for granted in life now.
Maybe that's why I will eventually forget my childhood and youth.
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