I wonder about a lot of things. Like the pointless existence of the trousers belonging to people who wear them at their knees in the name of fashion. At the ridiculousness of Thuli Alavum Moolai Illai and Ragi Sauvant's Somwar and MTV Roads and all the other rubbish that's telecast today in the name of forward-thinking television. At how, for a supposedly world class team, the Indian side's performance is hinged upon a few people performing. Well, in short (Take my word for it: This is the short version) there are a lot of things I wonder about. Like how it works out that what we get comfortable with, what we take for granted, is snatched away cruelly from us.
Talking with old people, what often strikes me amazing is.. how little they remember about their childhood.. and how they don't seem to care at all about it. I'm unable to remember a lot of things about my childhood, or about my past, but I'm unaware of their existence. On the other hand, the stuff I do remember, I'm able to remember eminently. And no doubt, I would be devastated if I forgot any of that. And yet the perusunge are at perfect peace with forgetting their own birthdays, even.
And fancy that! As a kid.. Everything gets better as we grow older. Being able to go out alone, being able to drive, being taken seriously.. To a child, an adult's world is full of possibilities. And once you are an adult, it hits you that its not all milk and honey. There are responsibilities, but that's not too much of a deal breaker. You retain your abilities and everything and deal with the responsiblities and live life fluently. With time, however, you slowly start losing everything. You can't see as well as you used to, can't hear well as you did. Your own flesh and blood don't like having you around very much and you're no longer in control. You no longer have a say in everything. In fact, you have a say in nothing. Its like being a kid again, except without the perks of being able to play all day. You can no longer earn a kuruvi rotti or a kuchi mittai for carrying Kannadi thatha's bags upstairs. On the contrary, you become kannadi thatha and it costs you to get some kid to carry your bags upstairs.
The pain of not having something is lesser than having something and then it being taken away from you. I wonder if i'll be able to deal with progressively losing abilities and control and other things I've taken for granted in life now.
Maybe that's why I will eventually forget my childhood and youth.
