Ambiguously Titled..

Indeed, life is immensely complex. An equation.. with infinite variables. All sorts of variations.. the combinations one can create.. the situations one can create..mind boggling choice.

Mind boggling choice though.. not for people IN, or living, life. For the universe... to mess with the people who live in it.. yes. 

A series of hill climb challenges. Say, a racing challenge, even. Highly dangerous.. people expect me to be scared of the thought "Will I return after this race?"

And yet... what scares me more is "Will you be there when I return from this hill?" Once I am started on the way up, nothing disturbs me anymore. I won't hear of you or think of you until I'm back, and the thought that you might not be there when I'm back is disturbing. 

In a way, the sense of not being completely in control is scary. Being brought up hearing "You are in charge of your life" and then along comes something called "luck". Some people have it, some don't. Not in their control, either. Your hard work might be rewarded. Parthasarathy-next-door's sloth might be rewarded more. 

And yet.. We live life. We work as hard as we can. We make sacrifices, for work, for relationships. All in the belief that life will be same tomorrow. And we can't let the otherwise scare us into not doing anything at all, because then life would be a waste. We believe 99 out of 100 times, it'll be all good. 1 out of 100, life gives you a bum deal.. Sometimes destroys you, sometimes strengthens you. Depends on each person's mental makeup. One more factor.. 

Life is a game. Hah. If that were true, given a choice, nobody with anything to lose would play it. Although.. if you don't play the game, you don't have anything at all. In other words, nothing to lose. And you might as well play. 

One hopes one comes out of life with a net gain. I am now on reserve battery power. Mentally and notebook-ally. That'll be all. 

Couldnt Resist...

She was a first generation IT worker in her family. Her father ran a flourishing gas agency, and her mother stayed at home with Tughlak and Kalki for company. She loved her job, and the exposure it gave her. She was forever conscious of the fact that her parents were invariably thinking of marrying her off, and she was always looking out for a guy that she could pick out on her own to prevent her parents from marrying her off to someone. And she'd spotted someone, working in the same IT complex, albeit for a different company. He was smart, and had a great smile, like the chap in the Bru advertisements(Idhu Bru ma!). He had a nice way of walking that she always imitated and laughed about it to herself. She'd never had the courage to talk to him, though. Everyday, she dreamt of talking and laughing with him, when he was driving her back, instead of her dreary share-auto, and then, bus-ride back home. But she could never quite get those words, conscious of her new-found talent in the English language "Could you drop me off, please?" She'd made up her mind today though. Enough was enough, and that promiscuous girl from the food court was already talking him up. "And Look at him, grinning back, the idiot" she thought to herself, gritting her teeth, as she mustered up the courage to walk up to him. Five steps, four, three, two.. She could smell him now. Here was where he stylishly put his hands inside his pocket and unlocked his car from afar. He turned, conscious of someone close by, and there was that smile, although she didnt notice that. Her eyes were on the egg shaped, brightly coloured car car that was flashing its lights, and chirping, glad to welcome its proud owner. On the inclined "H" within the oval on the front grill. She felt her eyes darken and momentarily lost her balance, holding on to a post nearby. Then her eyes focused on the questioning, smiling, handsome face again. 

"Which bus to Anakaputhur, please?"