Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Yes, You

You move around in herds and wreck the peace and quiet of restaurants, taking pictures and in general making a nuisance out of yourselves.

You make a hundredthousandbilliongazillion dollars a month the moment you step out of college.

You act like and think the world revolves around you, and that you sustain its rotation.

Your company drivers drive like they own the road and cut people off and run them off the road as well.

You get everything carte blanche, from houses on rent to girls' hands in marriage, the moment you tell people what your profession is.

You have driven the prices of everything sky high.

Yes, you, software injineers and IT probessonals.


And yet, can't you design a simple "interactive voice recognition system", that actually works?


Yes, I want to be able to bank through the internet with my bank account. And I want to be able to do it without having to answer questions like "How many grams of turmeric did your great grandmother add in her kathrika gothsu?" and "What was the name of the stray dog with the limp that lived in your great-great-grandfather's yard?"

I do not want to hear "You have exceeded the maximum number of tries" before I have tried even once.
What's more, I dont want to hear it when I am SETTING a password or a PIN code or a launch sequence or whatever else you call it. I cant possibly have been wrong when I am SETTING the password.

In fact, I dont want to hear it at all. Its a bloody computer recorded lady, you're not paying her anything for her time. On the contrary, I am paying for the time I spend on the telephone. I want to be able to try till I get it. Because you made it bloody complicated in the first place.

I do not want to spend a few hundred minutes on the telephones pressing various combinations of numbers before I can speak to one of your customer dont-really-care-but-i-need-this-for-a-living executives.Its easier to contact the President of India than to talk to somebody human on these call centre helplines. Who ends up being no good anyway, because he/she is invariably going to say "sir, the systems have a problem now, so we cant process your request/query"- A system that doesnt work is as good as no system at all.

Are you deliberately obtuse or are you just plain stupid?

You blithering idiots.