What's your Emergency?

Her heart pounded, and her head spun. Her eyes darkened, and she could feel the bile rising in her throat. Every muscle in her body was trembling. Her knees felt shaky. She could not imagine such a situation happening to anyone on earth, even though the daily fare on offer in the papers and television was terrorism thayirsadam, corruption kaarakozhambu and politics poriyal. And yet, here it was, happening to her. She looked up at the heavens and screamed (mentally) in anguish "What have I done to you, that you're doing this to me??" She could not bear to look at the chaos and destruction around her. And the noise! The screaming! It filled her ears, with a ringing sound. She could not hear anything else, it surrounded her, overwhelmed her.

And then her instinct for survival kicked in. She could feel herself calming down, and she sat down on something. She felt herself thinking rationally. What must one do now? She reached out for her phone. Trying not to notice the trembling of her fingers, trying to compose herself, she dialed her emergency number, as if by instinct, having no trouble remembering the digits even in the face of such a catastrophe. And as the phone rang, her heart slowed, and she took a couple of deep, steadying breaths.

"Hi da kannu! How are you? How's the baby?"

"Amma, Please leave tomorrow and come. I need you here. I can't manage her. She never stops crying. I have no idea why!!"

Another Short Story

The miracles of technology have brought the world to every man's pocket. Well, for the most part. So he thought, as he tapped his way across, feeling the world with his stick. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. And he heard a loud honk and screeching brakes as he accidentally stepped into the way of someone's speeding car. He thought nothing of it. A few more taps, and he could feel the pavement. With an almighty sigh, he heaved himself on to the pavement and reached his destination: The corner tea shop. On its wall hung a boon of the aforementioned technology, a pay telephone, by means of which he could talk to his only living relative, his son, a few hundred miles away in Dharmapuri. He lived on a measly pension, and had allocated 10 Rupees for this 10 minute call, all in shiny new 1 Rupee coins. He sought the help of someone whose presence he could feel nearby. Feel and smell. A strong smell of raw liquor. Nevertheless, a savior, he thought, as he handed the 10 coins to him, and gave him a wrinkled slip of paper, with his son's phone number, instructing him to dial the number on the slip. And dialed his savior did, but instead of handing him the receiver:

"Hello, Shanti? I'm feeling lonely tonight. Could you possibly be of any assistance? You know the place. Be there soon. I'll be waiting for you."

And before he could realize something was amiss, the smell of liquor had gone, and with it, his savior, and with his savior, the phone money.

Yes, You

You move around in herds and wreck the peace and quiet of restaurants, taking pictures and in general making a nuisance out of yourselves.

You make a hundredthousandbilliongazillion dollars a month the moment you step out of college.

You act like and think the world revolves around you, and that you sustain its rotation.

Your company drivers drive like they own the road and cut people off and run them off the road as well.

You get everything carte blanche, from houses on rent to girls' hands in marriage, the moment you tell people what your profession is.

You have driven the prices of everything sky high.

Yes, you, software injineers and IT probessonals.


And yet, can't you design a simple "interactive voice recognition system", that actually works?


Yes, I want to be able to bank through the internet with my bank account. And I want to be able to do it without having to answer questions like "How many grams of turmeric did your great grandmother add in her kathrika gothsu?" and "What was the name of the stray dog with the limp that lived in your great-great-grandfather's yard?"

I do not want to hear "You have exceeded the maximum number of tries" before I have tried even once.
What's more, I dont want to hear it when I am SETTING a password or a PIN code or a launch sequence or whatever else you call it. I cant possibly have been wrong when I am SETTING the password.

In fact, I dont want to hear it at all. Its a bloody computer recorded lady, you're not paying her anything for her time. On the contrary, I am paying for the time I spend on the telephone. I want to be able to try till I get it. Because you made it bloody complicated in the first place.

I do not want to spend a few hundred minutes on the telephones pressing various combinations of numbers before I can speak to one of your customer dont-really-care-but-i-need-this-for-a-living executives.Its easier to contact the President of India than to talk to somebody human on these call centre helplines. Who ends up being no good anyway, because he/she is invariably going to say "sir, the systems have a problem now, so we cant process your request/query"- A system that doesnt work is as good as no system at all.

Are you deliberately obtuse or are you just plain stupid?

You blithering idiots.

Are you an idiot?

Dear Lady on a popular Tamil debate show on a Tamil TV channel who asked indignantly if any of the school owners were providing education as a service (and the general public, who, for the most part share aforementioned lady's opinion),


Education is your birth right. Healthcare is your birth right. These are promised to you by the Government of India, so claim these rights from the Government and the organizations of the Government that are appointed to dispense these rights, namely Corporation schools and Government hospitals. Do not come to private educational institutions or healthcare institutions and demand quality education and healthcare for free. The employees of the private institutions(and, in fact, the owners) can't feed their stomachs or the stomachs of their children with your blessings.


Stop using the excuse of teachers and doctors being holy. 100 years ago, a teacher or a doctor would've been able to get anything, from free bus rides, to driving licenses, to food, by virtue of their professions. Now, the thought is laughable.


Healthcare is a business. Education is a business. Neither should cost more than they're worth, and that should be regulated. But a profit motive does not make anybody evil. Learn to deal with the fact that there is no such thing as a free lunch. Not for you, and not for us. Learn to pay for services rendered.

Stop being such a bloody hypocrite, and dispense with your attitude of entitlement.


Best Regards.

Rejervation!

Not quite so long ago (in terms of history of a country, anyway) - 1947 to be specific, there was this woman called Renuka Ray. She was apparently, the minister for Relief and Rehabilitation, and when she made her first speech(July 18 1947), had this (presumably, with reference to the constitution) to say:

"Mr President, I raise to support clause 19 section 2 - providing for territorial representation without reservation of seats. We are particularly opposed to the reservation of seats for women, which we consider to be an impediment to our growth and an insult to our intelligence and our capacity"

Later on, she went on to say that they (women) had trusted men and the society and that was wrong and that "election after election, the proportion of women in parliament barely made it past 10%"


She seems to have been a lady who was capable of taking the country forward. Rather unfortunate that "men" have conned her out of her chance.

It is precisely this relentless bashing of the male sex in the name of feminism that I absolutely cannot accept. One side of the issue is that: Either say everybody's equal in all respects, and have an open competition based purely on competence. Or, have reservations, in which case, naturally you are admitting that you are not competitive in an open competition.

Which is true to an extent when it comes to politics. India is a place where the loudest voice is always correct. Footwear flinging, microphone misuse, name calling is rampant at the highest levels in the government.  And women(the non-feminist, capable, proper women kind, anyway) are unable to compete at this level. And reservations are definitely necessary to get them past this. But so are reservations for educated people, people who do not, in the immortal words of Kokki Kumaru, need to feel for the presence of their head on their neck after waking up every morning. People with doctorates. People who can communicate without resorting to absolute animal behaviour. These are the people who are capable of bringing India forward. And the proportion of these people in the government is like the proportion of the masala filling in the samosa you get for 10 rupees: You have to search for it with a fine toothed comb.

And the same goes for reservations based on caste, based on religion and so on and so forth. An open competition will result in the maximum competence possible. At the same time, it is important to ensure that all the sections of the society are offered equal opportunities AND equal resources. Which, at the very basic school level in itself seems rather impossible, with private schools having doctoral candidates as teachers and the free government schools have underpaid, overworked, disillusioned and disinterested individuals teaching. Who, in the first place, got their jobs through reservations.

And that is why the system in India is designed for mediocrity and only that. At best, we'll be second best. And unless someone sees the holistic picture, that's not going to change. And I don't see anybody who has the power, capable of seeing the holistic picture, because they simply don't have the vision.

After all, They got there through reservations.