"Moonai Thottadhu Yaaru?" Filming Begins in Jolarpettai

The sequel to the sequel of the sequel and the sequel of "New Moonu" and "Sandira(sic) Grahanam)", the famed amaerigan Vampire movies began today in Jolarpettai, among great pomp and a star studded ceremony, attended by many celebrities nobody had heard of. The movie, starring Giruthik Rosan as the hero and Sarugan as the villain, also reportedly has a guest appearance by the incomparable Sam Anderson, and Rajinikanth as the punch-dialogue consultant.


The film, which is directed jointly by Vijaya T Rajendar and Kamal Hassan has an unprecedented budget of 15 Rupees. When the producer of the film, a genuine amaerigan(no makeup), was asked for his reaction to making a splendid film on such a minuscule budget,  the correspondent was at first put on hold by one Ms Swapnasundari who spoke in a mexican accent and called herself Ms Sun-derry, speaking out of an undisclosed location at (New no)21/(Old No)3, Vandikkaran street, Guindy, Chennai. On learning that the correspondent's name was Kandasamy, he was made to listen to "Excuse me Mr Kandasamy" for a total period of 127 hours and 13 minutes, during which time he contributed to the population significantly. Following which, Mr Amerigan(no makeup) answered that he chose to outsource to India because it was famous for accomplishing everything on a shoestring budget. He also claimed one of the reasons for choosing India was that the original actors had died from anemia due to the excessive bloodshed, whereas the Indian actors are apparently invincible, being able to act in schoolboy roles at the age of 63.The conversation was abruptly terminated when he was rendered speechless and stumped by his 5 year old, who asked him the answer to 2 + 3, a problem in his homework.

Varied reactions to the film have been received from across the country. Ragul Gandhi, the famous and dynamic young politician could say no more than "Yo Yo Yo, wasssssssuuuuup, biatch?", before he had to leave because his mum called him in for tea and samosas. Lalu Prasad addressed a press meet in Gopalganj, wherein he stated this was a great opportunity for selling neer moru in matkas on all routes to Jolarpettai. Unfortunately, he hurriedly retracted his statement when Mamata Banerjee claimed to be the true Minister for Railways. Mamata, on the other hand, was seen inquiring about the possibility of her appearing in an item number in the movie.

Of the dynamic duo of directors, only TR could be contacted, reportedly because he had agreed with Kamal Hassan that the latter would grow a beard and TR would be clean shaven for all public appearances in the movie. Kamal Hassan was seen frustratedly shopping for Hair growth creams trying to contact the manufacturers of "Instant Dhaadi-gro".TR, however showed off his co-operative relationship with Kamal Hassan with one of his trademark poems

"Kamal Hassan panniten Townu,
 Na Appu, He maybe frownu,
 Yevarybody say he bikku, I smallu, But
 Na ille ippo roaming (in) shopping maallu"

An attempt to request Super star Giruthik Rosan for comment was rendered futile when Mottai-Mama Daddy Rosan answered and exhibited an inability to call his son to the phone. All that was heard was "Grrrrr, Girru.. gIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRu" before he hung up. When this curious sound was played back to a medical specialist, he was unable to diagnose it. His driver, however, was moved to tears when he cleverly recognized it at the noise MTC buses make when attempting to change gears. He claimed to have been an MTC driver before he retired, and begged us to send the noise to his phone via bluetooth, which we tried to oblige, but bluetooth, as usual, failed to cooperate.

Ms. J Jayalalitha, the leader of the opposition, called a press meet to announce that this was a conspiracy by the opposition parties to sully her name. However, she smoothly disappeared into a trapdoor on the floor when she was told that issue at hand was a movie, prompting questions with regard to the talent of the carpenter who had constructed such a device. Mr M Karunanidhi, on the other hand addressed a big crowd just outside Stella Maris, when he was denied entry by the watchman who insisted on being the only man on campus.

The film aims to cater to teenage and older-but-still-think-they-are-teenage girls and a few confused teenage boys. The general response to the film was exceedingly positive, with the collective sentiment that an All-in-all movie was the best for the present times."I've never been noticed by girls before. Now they all want me. I'm glad I love the series! Gaylight Ho!", gushed Ganesh Sadasivam gleefully, held aloft by a rowdy crowd of youth-gerls, none of whom, noticed his slip. S.R.T.P Indumathi("Call me Indy"), echoed the sentiment, saying "This movie has older-than-my-parents Indian actors with 7.5 packs, Item numbers, and a western storyline! What more could you.. ", stopping mid sentence to cheer an unidentified male biting her rear.

Muthalik Mama called a press meet to announce something, but nobody bothered to turn up.